I guess I am starting a blog!
The title says it all .. I really do not know what I am doing..
Recently, I have had a lot of time on my hands and have not been very productive during that time. To be fair, I have been recovering from an accident and a lot of that time was spent asking God “Why Me” .. Through some very deep soul searching and after seeking guidance through Godly avenues I keep coming up with the same conclusion.
I don’t know, but God has a plan.
Needless to say, I have adjusted some of my priorities and have tried to focus on things I believe God wants me to focus on .. The trick is to figure out what God wants as opposed to what the world wants.
Sometimes we overwhelm ourselves by trying to do it all on our own. We imagine that if we would stop it will all fall apart. Let me tell you.. It will be ok .. God is ultimately in control and if you let him, he will prove it to you… Over thinking and worrying about things will only waste time. Do what you can. Sift through the mess. Untangle your thoughts and take things one step at a time.
Philippians 4:8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
A little about myself (more to follow).
I have been married for 21 years and have a daughter that has recently graduated college and has found her “big girl” job and “big girl” apartment.. So, with the exception of my 2 dogs, my husband and I are “empty nesters”. I am also the director of 8 employees where I am currently employed. I try to coordinate the church Nursery and have recently begun helping (again) with the church youth program on Wednesday nights..
And I am such a total mess ..
I want to do everything I can for my husband & daughter.. I want to be a productive member of my church.. I want to be successful with my employment .. I want to be organized, energetic, joyful, dedicated, and wise. I want to make my family proud of me. I want my employer and my church family to be able to count on me.
But, I just can’t .. The harder I try the worse it gets ..
I am learning .. I need seek God in everything I do .. AND … My vision may not be Gods vision..
Proverbs 20:24 The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?
How much time do we waste overthinking everything that happens to us or worrying about decisions we have made.. How often do we ponder over our future and plan for our imagined problems instead of looking for direction in God’s word or going to him in prayer.. How much more could we accomplish if we simply accepted that God is ultimately in control.
Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
Matthew 6:34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”
I make it sound like it should be so easy .. I know it isn’t .. I know that it takes a lot of “not getting your way” before you understand what God really wants.. I know that sometimes terrible things happen and we don’t ever want to think that any good could come from it.. I know that there are so many evil things in this world and so much chaos that it is hard to hear what God is saying..
I guess I can go back to the start of this post and say — I don’t know what I am doing — But, I do know that God knows what he is doing and I will continue to seek him .. His timing is not my own .. I will see his purpose when he wants me to ..